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The flight attendant wouldn't let me get up to use the bathroom so I angry-shat myself to make her feel bad. It was our first night there and I didn't know where the restrooms were, so I started speed-walking to our hotel room. Fast forward a few minutes and I realize I have to poop. I knew my bowels were unhappy with what I had eaten. On the way home I got pulled over by a cop. Shit The Bed Memes. It was awful.

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She of course yells to her mom, "Michele just shit her pants!!

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He finally pushed me into the family bathroom, where I exploded for a good five minutes. Shortly after, I remember feeling really sick and went to the bathroom to throw up. I shit my pants in the gift shop of Vatican City. I blamed the smell on my daughter. Not many times in your life can you have a conversation with a complete stranger while shitting your pants. Ass, Bitch, and Shit:

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